Letting Go And Moving On
Since the pandemic started, I have been struggling with figuring out my life. You start to realize who you miss and whether or not you are wasting time on things that don’t matter. Months before the pandemic started, I’ve felt distant from certain people and things that surround my everyday life but I have this tendency to hold on tighter when the last string is ready to break.
When you let go of something important, it isn’t any easy thing to do. I’m still learning how to come to terms with accepting what is. When you are trying to let someone go, people tend to hold onto the good memories and ignore the facts of what their relationship/ friendship actually was with someone.
When I contemplate whether or not someone should be in my life, I constantly praise the good and ignore our shortcomings. Recently, I’ve done this in two ways. One, I was very much in love with someone. I did everything in my power to convince myself we were perfect for each other, even though I knew we weren’t. We are both good people but we can’t give each other what the other needs, when it comes to being in a relationship. Two, I was friends with someone who I constantly fought with and we were always getting on each other’s nerves.
Both situations happened every day but I kept trying to hold onto the good because I thought if I decided we shouldn’t be in each other’s lives, they would feel I hated them or felt negatively about them. The true is people grow apart, some people are on different levels, some people change and some people just aren’t each other’s people anymore.
It sucks. Believe me, it sucks but sometimes we are needed for a period of time to change or be changed by someone. Then it’s time to move on and let each there go. In both relationships, I have grown in so many ways and I know they have too. However, when these relationships are looked at for what they truly are, they are defined as toxic and will only fail in the end.
We can’t give each other what the other needs. When the relationships become toxic or constant work and you no longer find the simple joy in them, it’s time to let go. One lesson learned, is to stop blaming someone for the negative things that happen in your life. When you break up or end a friendship, sometimes it is because one person messed up. I understand this but sometimes things just happen and it’s no one’s fault.
I hate seeing people end relationships and completely destroy the person to the people around them, to feel better. To this day, I talk about people who were in my life, in a positive way and the impact they had on my life. I don’t think about them and get angry, I smile because I can see them in the things I do. Don’t regret people who have entered your life, especially the ones who made an impact. Remember the good and bad lessons they taught you. You weren’t perfect either and people tend not to own up to their sides of the separation.
Take ownership of your mistakes too, stop blaming everyone else. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, even the “good” ones. Both parties are good in their own way but you do have the right to walk away if you believe it’s time and leave it at that. Each going their separate ways but know that love existed. It doesn’t always need to be WWIII. Appreciate the relationship you had and the person you had it with but pick yourself up and let go. Allow the both of you to move on and find happiness somewhere else.
